Amercia Finally Tired of Sensual Sawbones! Could Obama be to blame?

If you didn’t watch “Off the Map,” a sort of “Doctors Without Trousers” (in French: “Medecins Sans Pantaloons”) that debuted on ABC last night, you’re not alone.  Congratulations!

Ratings for the saucy medical drama, which takes the usual sexy doctoring to a remote South American jungle (as represented by the same locations used in “Lost”), were middling at best, and must have proved disappointing to the show’s producers, who have also given the world the mystifyingly still-popular “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Private Practice.”

Then there's the whole matter of President Obama's national address, which, besides assuaging the country's grief, really bollixed up the prime-time schedule. If, in fact, the show is canceled, we're willing to call this the greatest contribution of his administration so far.

Expect some conscience-searching: were viewers turned off by the rampant abuse of a stingray in the show’s previews? Was the limited screen time of “Twilight’s” Rachelle Lefevre a factor? Will upping the nerd factor compensate for the stale premise and familiar presentation? Perhaps a polar bear could be introduced!

Somebody get Wil Wheaton on the phone!

The show replaces the already-canceled “The Whole Truth,” a legal talkie so boring even retirees avoided it, and given OTM's pedigree and promotional muscle, we’ll likely have to suffer through at least a season’s worth of anguished tropical fornicating before ABC mercifully replaces it with “Wipeout” reruns. Bring on the Big Balls!