Many of you youngsters will have trouble understanding exactly why, but trust us, this is just awful, in any dimension.
Because, really, this isn't just about the special effects, as the LA Times seem to think. And how about that second-to-last paragraph?
To be brief: Baz Luhrmann shouldn't have been let out of the '90s. His "Romeo + Juliet" (note the plus sign) stands as the apex of the gaudy faux-bohemianism that marred the decade, and even foreshadows the antic, manufactured quirk of today's dire indie-rock scene. He's not a "provocateur"--he's an art-house Renny Harlin, a maestro of purposeless bombast and empty flourish, whose relentless pursuit of "flash" masquerades as eccentric substance.
Whatevs, if the Website of a major paper can lump together one of American lit's stone-cold classics and a book-club favorite about a tiger in a boat, we guess we'll get the "Gatsby" we deserve.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
This Ain't Your Grandma's Grammys! New Era Begins, w/ Arcade Fire, Korn, Internet Sharing
Are you sick of Grammy hype yet? We hate to add to the blizzard of anticipation that surrounds one of the biggest award nights and cultural touchstones of the year, but … OK, this charade is growing tiresome.
Anyway, the Grammys are next month, and in an attempt to attract viewers to an irrelevant ceremony representing a dying industry, the duffers in Grammyland have concocted a crackerjack list of live talent for this year’s program. Cee Lo Green! Arcade Fire! And, in a bold change of pace, someone whom people that watch the Grammys may actually have heard of, Lady Gaga! Or how about Katy Perry, maybe? She was the floozy that got kicked off Sesame Street, right?
In a further attempt to get jiggy with the kids, the Academy has kicked off the cumbersomely titled “Music is Life is Music,” campaign, which appears to incorporate social networking and stuff. And jeepers, Arcade Fire are involved with that, too! Also, hirsute troubadors Korn has been nominated for Best Metal Performance, so clearly someone is paying attention to the trends of the day. You’re on notice, People’s Choice!
The big questions remain: How many times will The Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling” be played, and will there be a fitting tribute to the music of “Country Strong”?
Anyway, the Grammys are next month, and in an attempt to attract viewers to an irrelevant ceremony representing a dying industry, the duffers in Grammyland have concocted a crackerjack list of live talent for this year’s program. Cee Lo Green! Arcade Fire! And, in a bold change of pace, someone whom people that watch the Grammys may actually have heard of, Lady Gaga! Or how about Katy Perry, maybe? She was the floozy that got kicked off Sesame Street, right?
In a further attempt to get jiggy with the kids, the Academy has kicked off the cumbersomely titled “Music is Life is Music,” campaign, which appears to incorporate social networking and stuff. And jeepers, Arcade Fire are involved with that, too! Also, hirsute troubadors Korn has been nominated for Best Metal Performance, so clearly someone is paying attention to the trends of the day. You’re on notice, People’s Choice!
Amercia Finally Tired of Sensual Sawbones! Could Obama be to blame?
If you didn’t watch “Off the Map,” a sort of “Doctors Without Trousers” (in French: “Medecins Sans Pantaloons”) that debuted on ABC last night, you’re not alone. Congratulations!
Ratings for the saucy medical drama, which takes the usual sexy doctoring to a remote South American jungle (as represented by the same locations used in “Lost”), were middling at best, and must have proved disappointing to the show’s producers, who have also given the world the mystifyingly still-popular “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Private Practice.”
Then there's the whole matter of President Obama's national address, which, besides assuaging the country's grief, really bollixed up the prime-time schedule. If, in fact, the show is canceled, we're willing to call this the greatest contribution of his administration so far.
Expect some conscience-searching: were viewers turned off by the rampant abuse of a stingray in the show’s previews? Was the limited screen time of “Twilight’s” Rachelle Lefevre a factor? Will upping the nerd factor compensate for the stale premise and familiar presentation? Perhaps a polar bear could be introduced!
Somebody get Wil Wheaton on the phone!
The show replaces the already-canceled “The Whole Truth,” a legal talkie so boring even retirees avoided it, and given OTM's pedigree and promotional muscle, we’ll likely have to suffer through at least a season’s worth of anguished tropical fornicating before ABC mercifully replaces it with “Wipeout” reruns. Bring on the Big Balls!
Ratings for the saucy medical drama, which takes the usual sexy doctoring to a remote South American jungle (as represented by the same locations used in “Lost”), were middling at best, and must have proved disappointing to the show’s producers, who have also given the world the mystifyingly still-popular “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Private Practice.”
Then there's the whole matter of President Obama's national address, which, besides assuaging the country's grief, really bollixed up the prime-time schedule. If, in fact, the show is canceled, we're willing to call this the greatest contribution of his administration so far.
Expect some conscience-searching: were viewers turned off by the rampant abuse of a stingray in the show’s previews? Was the limited screen time of “Twilight’s” Rachelle Lefevre a factor? Will upping the nerd factor compensate for the stale premise and familiar presentation? Perhaps a polar bear could be introduced!
Somebody get Wil Wheaton on the phone!
The show replaces the already-canceled “The Whole Truth,” a legal talkie so boring even retirees avoided it, and given OTM's pedigree and promotional muscle, we’ll likely have to suffer through at least a season’s worth of anguished tropical fornicating before ABC mercifully replaces it with “Wipeout” reruns. Bring on the Big Balls!
Robert Christgau Simile of the Week!
"...to bird-dog albums like Scooby-Doo on a thermos of Dunkin.'"
Also: "Black hip-hoppers" vs. "White hip-hoppers." Where do you stand, America?
Also: "Black hip-hoppers" vs. "White hip-hoppers." Where do you stand, America?
Eddie's Back in Theaters! And in Trouble With the Law!
“The Green Hornet,” the weird, possibly disastrous Seth Rogen-assisted reboot of the superhero that everyone confuses with Green Arrow or Green Lantern, (this guy has a car and and Asian sidekick, we think,) continues to somehow generate surprising new revelations.
While tapping impish Gallic man-child Michel Gondry to direct and choosing a Taiwanese pop star to play a role once filled by Bruce Lee seemed bizarre (if perhaps canny, in a global-market sense,) enough, now we’re hearing that Eddie Furlong has a supporting role?
Furlong, of course, is the young rebel who listened to G n’R and provided Arnold Schwarzenegger with one of his more bitchin’ campaign lines, in the totally mind-blowing second Terminator movie. Eddie also charmed the Spanx off of us in John Waters’ underrated “Pecker” of 1998, and then more or less hasta la vista’d. (For you completists, there was also “Detroit Rock City.”)
Evidently, he’s had some problems since then, which may have contributed to a serious case of cheekbone loss, among other things.
If you cynical Internet hyenas needed a reason to root for Team Hornet, this is it. Good luck, Eddie, it’s nice to have you back! Let us know when that Peter Coyote/Slash project drops, kay?
USA Today Crowns the 'New' Roth!
English majors rejoice! USA Today has compiled its annual breakdown of what Americans were reading in 2010, and fiction has had a very ‘boffo’ year, as the industry types say, with novels dominating the weekly best-seller list. And now, English majors, return to your traditional state of prematurely wizened despair: many of those novels were penned by Nicholas Sparks.
Other unsurprising tidbits: Stieg Larsson’s cocktails of sexual violence and Swedish ghastliness continued to perform, and movie adaptations make financial sense, if little else. On that note, prepare to soon be sick of Suzanne Collins’ “Hunger Games”: work on the first film installment of the teen sci-fi trilogy is slated to begin in the spring, under the auspices of the same production company that brought us the “Wimpy Kid” movie – another YA heavy hitter in the fiction marketplace. And all this despite sounding like a Sade album circa 1994.
But hey, there’s some room for optimism here, as well. Vampires are finally getting passé, and there is not one mention of books about Labradors or other household pets.
Finally, only in USA Today will the ‘Roth’ in the headline “Roth, Franzen and Winfrey” refer to the author of “Women, Food and God.”
Other unsurprising tidbits: Stieg Larsson’s cocktails of sexual violence and Swedish ghastliness continued to perform, and movie adaptations make financial sense, if little else. On that note, prepare to soon be sick of Suzanne Collins’ “Hunger Games”: work on the first film installment of the teen sci-fi trilogy is slated to begin in the spring, under the auspices of the same production company that brought us the “Wimpy Kid” movie – another YA heavy hitter in the fiction marketplace. And all this despite sounding like a Sade album circa 1994.
But hey, there’s some room for optimism here, as well. Vampires are finally getting passé, and there is not one mention of books about Labradors or other household pets.
Finally, only in USA Today will the ‘Roth’ in the headline “Roth, Franzen and Winfrey” refer to the author of “Women, Food and God.”
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